Homophobic Person: My favorite food is pizza!
    Homosexual Person: Cool! My favorite food is pasta!
    Bisexual Person: I like both!
    Pansexual Person: Hey guys, I don't have a favorite! I'll pretty much eat what tastes good to me.
    Asexual Person: I like the way food looks and smells more than the way it tastes.
    Homophobic Person: whAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHY ISN'T PIZZA YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.

eyeballfarts:

I’m scared to see what the next big dance craze will be after twerking

(via tensioned)

screamandshout:

when will my normal sleep pattern return from war

(via thisgirlgames)

ruinedchildhood:

(Source: txz, via shayshayroo)

sidnugget:

ugh-p3asants:

iphone420:

Yesterday was my grandparents 45th anniversary and my grandma was like “if I had killed him 20 years ago I would be out of jail by now” and that basically sums them up

Your grandma is 45?!

yeah she got married the day she was born 

(via poke-gasm)

aatroxop:

toastradamus:

shipping is disgusting you should all be ashamed of yourselves

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(via intensional)

(Source: bawnjourno, via andrysb24)

Anonymous: tell us your most embarrassing story 

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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