(Source: jocelynejunker, via relahvant)

folk-punk:

dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss

(via shouldnt)

cravings:

when a teacher asks me a question and demands a super quick answer

image

(Source: cravings, via sagihairius)

spaceindavers:

real trust is letting a cannibal give you oral

(via jenajump)

sagihairius:

"your confirmation email will arrive in the next five minutes"

*refreshes every 2 seconds until it comes”

"He’s like an enormous, muscular Ellen DeGeneres."

(Source: daily99, via cuethepulse-tobegin)

tensioned:

there should be an award for the people who

  • finish a whole tube of chap stick without losing it
  • finish the shampoo and conditioner at the same time

(Source: tensioned, via shouldnt)